2014!!!!!

Hello! I've been terrible at blogging this past fall. But really, a lot of things have been happening! Or actually, things were set into motion that will be happening this year. I got a promotion! Raygun is opening a store in the Crossroads Art District of Kansas City, MO at the end of March, and I will be heading down there to co-manage (with my fellow RYG/DSM coworker Suzanne) and do some buying! I'm beyond excited. I will be going to MAGIC (no, not The Gathering) in February with our other buyer Lucy to find some new brands to bring in specifically to RYG/KC! In March I will move, and I won't be alone.....my bf has agreed to leave East Coast to move back to the Midwest to live with me. We've been long distance for about 2 years, so it's a relief to finally end that chapter of our relationship. 

Sooooo, that's what's been going on with me. Or what will be going on with me. 

savior

As I mentioned before, I was fortunate enough to be a part of a new magazine, started by my friend Lucy Shay. Last Saturday was the launch party, and it turned out amazing (both the party and the magazine)! So many stylish Des Moinians (Des Moinians? Des Moinites?) came out to support this new venture, and Lucy was right when she said that just because we're in Des Moines, Iowa doesn't mean we can't start/be a part of something cool and fashionable! Savior will soon be available to purchase at Domestica, so if you weren't able to make it to the party be sure to pick up a copy! Here are a few pictures of the spread I was in (shot by the wonderful Jen and Tim Mitchard, of JeTim Art & Photography), as well as a few other pictures from the party.

Dress: Nasty Gal. Necklace: Forever 21. Strapless lace bra: Gap Body.

Post-launch party party, downtown DSM. Photos taken by Amy (the blonde girl on the right). 

I would just like to end this post by thanking Lucy for letting me be a part of her baby, Jen & Tim (and Lucy) for believing in my ability to model, and my entourage of friends from near and far that came out to party and support me that night!

resolutions, part II

I know it's nearly February, but I'm going to add some more resolutions for 2013. I feel more accountable for them when they're written out in list form for everyone to see.

• Be creative. Don't be afraid to start something new. (The upcoming release of a fashion magazine made by my friend/coworker Lucy has inspired this resolution!)
• Be more adventurous. Like the Rilo Kiley song. 

As I come to terms with the fact that I'm swiftly approaching the end of my twenties (in the next few years, but it feels very very near), I feel like I need to work on some aspects of my personality and the way I think about certain things. I need to be open to new opportunities and situations that might scare me I'm very into my routine & not so much into change. 

Here I am, trying something new: wearing lipstick (first time in all my 20something years) and a new necklace.

Lipstick: Kiss Me Coral by Revlon. Necklace by Forever 21. 

annual money freak out post

With the turn of the new year, the Social Security "tax hike", and the fact that my Wells Fargo loan comes out of forbearance next month, I decided to take a look at my finances. OH BOY. I make roughly $1500 a month after taxes. I pay out $1012 to all my various bills. I mean, I have enough left over to live and I'm definitely better off than some people, but ouch. Let me just break it down a littler further for you.

• I pay $125 per month on old credit card debt, plus at least $25 on my current (low limit, credit rebuilding) credit card. 
• I pay $256 to student loans. Thank god for Federal loans and their income-based repayment plan, because without that I would be in big trouble. Private loans give you NO wiggle room, save for forbearance, therefore it is my opinion that private lenders are the devil. 

This is a cautionary tale, kids. DON'T GET A CREDIT CARD. And if you do, make sure you have the means to pay it back every month. Also don't go to school. You'll be paying that shit back for the rest of your life. Is it really worth it? Is it?! 

I'm kidding, of course. Go to school. But be smart about it, because you're paying THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS for every year that you're there, and those thousands of dollars are racking up a thousand more dollars in interest.  

So here's to 2013, the new budget I need to make, and all those sad shoes and purses that are stuck at the store because I certainly won't be able to buy them.

we made it to 2013!

One of the few photos taken of me on New Years Eve, with my old roomies. 

I'll do a short recap of my year, mostly for my own sake.

• I graduated! Finally! 
• Celebrated my 1 year anniversary with Ryan
• Turned 26 aka officially old 
• Started this blog
• Started fulltime at Raygun
• Moved to Des Moines
• Helped Ryan move halfway across the country
• Got a cat
• Learned how to screen print
• Watched a lot of Netflix
• Modeled for a few photoshoots 
• Celebrated New Years Eve with great friends

I've also decided to make some resolutions, although like most other people's, they will probably never come to pass (I'll make an effort, though). 

1. be more social
2. wash my hair more
3. exercise
4. read at least 1 book a month
5. Pay off 1 (or more, with luck) of my credit cards 

I think those are pretty manageable resolutions, actually.  Hopefully this year will be just as good, if not better, than last year! Happy 2013, y'all. 

happy thanksgiving!

previously, on lost.....

Ok, this post isn't about LOST. It's about tv in general. For pretty much my whole life, I've lived in a residence that had cable/satellite. I love tv, simple as that. At this point in my life it's become a comfort to me, just having the tv on in the background. I lived with my parents for 19 or so years, where there was free cable. I lived in a dorm for a year, where there was free cable. I then moved in with my boyfriend at the time for about 5 or 6 months, in which time I did not have cable (although I spent most weekends at home, and went to visit my grandma who had cable quite often), so it wasn't too bad. I then moved to various different apartments in Ames, where thanks to college-town living, I enjoyed the luxury of free cable & internet which was undoubtedly added to the price of our rent...but it was nice to not have to deal with setting up different services and paying a million different bills.

And when I finally graduated and moved to Des Moines to work at my first full-time job.....the free cable era of my life ended. I am now faced with the tough decision: cable or internet? Or cable or less money to spend on food/clothing? Since my apartment building has a contract with one internet and cable company, I cannot look for cheaper solutions. I can have $40/mo internet, $40/mo cable, or $80/mo for both. So I chose internet, where I can find most of the shows that I watch easily, and stream them on my tv.

So what's the big deal? Well, a few of the shows I love are on the precipice of cancellation because the Nielsen ratings are too low. This is absurd! In this day and age, Nielsen is obviously outdated. So many people who used to watch tv are now opting to cut out the cable bill and watch all their favorite shows online. There is this huge demographic of people that ARE watching said shows (Parks & Rec, anyone?), but can't afford to watch them on tv as they air. And before you tell me that NBC is available for free if you have an antenna, I know, and I do, but it only tunes into ABC, FOX, and a few other weird local stations. I can't get NBC, which I religiously used to watch on Thursday and Saturday nights, and I can't get the CW, which I realize is targeted to a younger age group, but I don't care, I need to watch The Vampire Diaries!

In conclusion, I miss having cable, I miss watching commercials (yeah, really), I hate bills, and Nielsen needs to get with the 21st century! If they counted how many times I've watched (and rewatched) all the seasons of Parks & Rec, there's no way it would be doing so poorly in the ratings.

so let's set the world on fire

I just rewatched the sectionals episode of the most recent season of Glee, where they sing "We Are Young" at the end. Even though I'm so so so sick of that song, watching/listening to this version gave me goosebumps.

When I think back to my high school years, I don't cringe, or feel so glad that I'm past that stage in my life. In fact, I often wish I could go back. Sure, there were times when I thought my world was ending (it was usually because the boy I had a crush on liked my best friend instead of me), but for the most part I loved my high school experience. I went to a tiny high school (seriously, there were only 23 people in my graduating class), I had great friends, and was involved in many different things. Sports were a big part of my life, and it's definitely one of the things I miss most about being in high school. I still have dreams that I'm in high school, at a softball or basketball game, but there's usually something wrong, like I forget part of my uniform and then am late for the game so I have to sit out. What do you think that means? I also miss having a core group of friends, that were always around. Most of us have drifted apart in the 8 years since I graduated high school, Yep, I just aged myself there. Yikes. but there are a few people that I still consider my best friends. The only thing now is that we all live in different places, and lead very different lives. It's not as easy to keep in touch, and for the most part I only get to see them during holidays or occasions that bring us all back to our hometown. It makes me sad, but I guess that's the reality of growing up.

Anyways, the end of that episode always brings back all those memories and makes me feel nostalgic/a little sad that things will never be like they were when I was 17 ever again. Why was I always so excited to get older? It baffles me, now.

mo' money, mo' problems: part 2

Remember that budget thing I was talking about trying last month? Well, I'm trying it out. I got my monthly & bi-monthly checks from my jobs at the end of March/beginning of April, and then began rigorously crunching the numbers to get something financially responsible put together. Here's what I came up with:

• First & foremost, BILLS. Those terrible, annoying things that happen every month. Blegh. Rent, utility bills, Netflix bill, car insurance, and estimated dollar amount in gas I will use per month. I know gas isn't technically a bill, but I have to have it to get to class/work, so I think it counts. 
• $100 for food
• $50 for other necessities (toilet paper, soap, etc.)
• $50 to my savings account
• $50 in cash (This is part of my genius idea to help curb my impulse spending. I tend to save my cash & use my debit card, so I'm going to try and leave my debit card at home most days and only carry cash. I'll let you know if this plan works out....)
• After all of that, there's still a little money left over. I like to think of it as a cushion in case I go over in any of the other categories. And yes, that's already happened :/

This budget may be modified next month, depending on how this month pans out. I feel really optimistic that this will help me manage my spending! It would be amazing to have savings again, just in case there's a month that I need extra money. 

mo' money, mo' problems

 
I think someone wise and famous said that once, but I don't believe them. I currently have no money, and I have tons of problems! I can't imagine what it's like to have extra money, and to not be living paycheck to paycheck. This is mostly my fault; stupid credit card spending when I was younger and not being able to save anything, ever. Right now I have 1 1/2 jobs (half, because one job is currently only temporary), which is enabling me to pay for things I have to pay for, like rent, utility bills, and car insurance. I'm going to throw gasoline in that category too. Whatever is leftover is divvied up between groceries and other necessities (soap, toilet paper, etc.). There is usually a little leftover after that, because I'm a very frugal (see: cheap) grocery shopper...but instead of saving it I go out to eat, or buy a new shirt. I justify buying that shirt by telling myself that I haven't had any discretionary income for so long that I deserve to treat myself to something (don't get me wrong, it's still cheap Target/F21 stuff). Then I immediately get buyer's remorse after I leave the store, not because I don't like the item, but because I know that I have such limited funds and I should be saving. Budgeting is so hard for me! I'm going to try and get better at it, though. I need to physically write down how much money I'm going to allocate to each category. And then make sure I actually stick to that budget.

How do you guys budget your money? Any tips for someone who makes too many impulse purchases? Travel-sized/purse-sized products are my weakness. Help me save money so I can make real, adult purchases someday!

nature is neat

On this glorious day there were record highs in Iowa (78degrees!). I had to work, but thankfully it was my morning shift and not my afternoon one. I got off at 1pm, and shortly after, Ryan and I headed out to Ledges State Park to enjoy some nature! We saw a dead raccoon (RIP Rocky) and spied on people from a scenic lookout (they were going to a "secret place", but they didn't divulge the specifics). Then I ranted about how crazy/different/kind of awesome it would be if we had never forced the Native Americans off their lands. Also, if I ever have a daughter I'm going to teach her how to sew and change her own oil and cook everything ever! By the age of 6! Things I wish I knew how to do! Also, what if people pooped in the wild and had to clean up after themselves with those little baggies that they have for dogs? I don't know, my mind went off into a lot of avenues while on our hike. Anyways, it was a pretty day and I had a nice time with my fella. Here are 2 pictures to show you my story is not made up:

Ryan's back side.

The Secret

The Secret. Have you heard of it? It's a book/DVD about, well, the Secret. Last summer I had an internship, and along with that internship came a 3 hour class once a week from June to August. Every week we watched a chapter from The Secret. I thought it was kind of silly at the time.....things don't happen to you just because you think/pray/wish every day about them. They happen because you're good, or qualified, or just plain lucky. While I like to think I'm a good person, a lot of times I don't feel very qualified for things, and I certainly don't consider myself to have any sort of luck. But that summer, after learning about The Secret, a few things happened that I like to attribute to my wishing/hoping/praying/thinking about them.

Jump to the present. I've been kind of down and out lately (see: can't get no motivation). I was having trouble finding a job and having trouble figuring out what I even want to do with my life. My roommates were making other living arrangements for the fall, my boyfriend landed an awesome job in a different state, and I was feeling sorry for myself because I had no clue where to go/what to do. I'm speaking in past tense, but most of that stuff just happened last week. I managed to find myself a part-time job (again, last week), but I still had no idea what I should do when my lease here is up. I've been trying to be positive and proactive; looking at apartment and job listings in a few different towns and preparing for the possibility that I may be living alone and/or in a town where I have few friends. I've also been missing my former job/internship quite a bit. I've been talking to people about how much I missed it/how I wished there was a place for me there, and how I missed my coworkers there.

Jump to today. I was perusing Craigslist and found a great apartment at a great price in a downtown location that is pretty close the aforementioned job/internship. I immediately text my boyfriend to tell him about it, to which he replied "Are you going to get it?!". To which I replied, "Well, I'd have to find a job down there first". About 5 minutes later I got a call from a coworker at my old job asking if I could work Saturdays this month. What?! What is this voodoo?!  Of course I said yes! Now, obviously this isn't a full-time or even part-time gig, but it could always lead to one down the road. IT'S THE POWER OF THE SECRET, I TELL YOU!

So if I haven't already Googled it out of curiosity, I will now suggest that you read up on The Secret. That voodoo just might change your life.

i'm too old to wake up feeling like p. diddy

Yes, there was a time when I practiced my legal right to drink an adult beverage or two (or six). I even successfully shotgunned a beer once, as seen above (I don't recommend it. My stomach felt like a balloon afterward). But now I'm older and wiser [see: nauseous after a few beers, unable to function if even the least bit hungover], and going out and getting ~totally wasted~ just isn't appealing to me anymore. This generally wouldn't be a problem, except I live in a college town, with people who are younger than me and have less....life experience, I guess (and by that I just mean that I've been alive longer). They enjoy drinking copious amounts of alcohol and going out to the bars (bars I've been patronizing since I turned 21...so for awhile, now) and since that's not really my scene anymore, I get left out. They don't understand why I don't want to go out or get drunk all the time, because they are young and still have a few years left before they'll get tired of it too. They don't understand why I'd rather stay home in my sweatpants watching Netflix instead of getting all dressed up to go grind on people in dingy bar basements. Dingy bar basements full of fresh 21 year olds [see: the most obnoxious type of drunks].

To show you I'm not biased, here I am, being one of those obnoxious 21 year old drunks. 

....and again, here.

I don't blame my youthful friends for wanting to go out and enjoy their college experience, but I wish they'd understand why it's just not my cup of tea anymore. And then maybe join me for a round of shuffleboard at the community center.

can't get no motivation

That basically explains my day to day life, lately. With no job and 1 class twice a week, I rarely leave my apartment. Partly because I have no money to do anything since I have no job, but also partly because I have no motivation (could also explain the lack of job). Somewhere along the way I lost my mojo, and now all I do is wear sweatpants. Don't get me wrong, sweatpants are my jam, but I miss occasionally wearing real clothes and looking cute. I think my lack of motivation might stem from my lack of confidence, and my lack of confidence stems from my quarter-life crisis. I'm in a rut.

I already said (maybe just to myself) that I'm not going to use this blog as a journal or diary, so I'm not going to delve too deeply into my problem here. I just need to get my groove back, as Stella would say! I need help. I need inspiration. I need to change my clothes.